One of my favourite segments on Australian radio is called the Friday f#ckwit (censorship in Oz radio ain’t that strict). During this segment the hosts and their listeners nominate people who have pissed them off for some reason, thereby earning the title of f#ckwits. It gives me a good laugh every week, but I have never felt compelled enough to make a nomination, until I came across the most inane piece of online copywriting drivel I’ve ever read. So today, I make my first nomination for the Friday f#ckwit… digital marketing style.
I’m not going to name and shame the company that produced the drivel. But I will say they are a digital marketing agency, which I think is where my beef arose. They should know better. Email marketing is one of their core services, and this piece of copy appears on a page dedicated to the feature of image personalisation:
Engage your audience like never before
The advent of the Internet has changed the customer/retailer relationship into one of collusive silence, and the gap between the customer and brand is wider than ever before. Image personalisation is about creating an emotional engagement between the customer and your brand to address this problem.
All I have to say is WTF…?!?! Did you say that you’re in digital marketing…? Seriously…? I’ll give them one thing… the Internet has changed the customer/retailer relationship. But collusive silence? Ummm… what planet are you living on? The Internet has created the greatest form of democratic media in human history. Never before has it been easier for someone to make their voice heard. Even Perez Hilton has managed to find an audience… And never has it been easier for organisations to talk directly to their customers. People are talking about companies on the Net every minute of every day.
So how are we to resolve this problem of collusive silence… by image personalisation of course. Nothing creates customer value and engagement quite like the variation of a stock photo in an email. So what if our customers are talking about us on blogs, forums & Facebook groups. There’s no need to enter that discussion. There’s no need to actually converse directly with our customers. Image personalisation will undoubtedly solve that whole silence issue…
The irony behind the whole situation is that I’m using the Internet to break the ’silence’ on them. I wonder if they’ll ever trace the conversation. I highly doubt it. So… for this piece of utter copywriting crap… I nominate the unnamed digital marketing agency for today’s Friday f#ckwit. They have truly earned it. If anyone else has a nomination for the digital marketing Friday f#ckwit, please feel free to contribute in the comments.
In closing, I know it’s not nice to slag others for the work they’ve done. But hey… it’s Friday 
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March 7, 2008 at 11:25 am
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February 23, 2008 at 8:57 am
lucio
I told you so James, I told you so
February 23, 2008 at 12:16 pm
James Duthie
Yes Lucio… you are indeed very wise…
February 28, 2008 at 5:33 am
Steve Mills
Yes, JJJ certainly never seem to run out of candidates for the Friday FW. There seem to be plenty out there
February 28, 2008 at 9:07 am
James Duthie
Yes Steve… Australian’s just love to pay out on others… so nominations for the coveted award will never be left wanting…
July 16, 2008 at 12:21 pm
kay
when they say “Image personalisation” are you sure they mean photo’s and such? when i read that snippet I presumed they meant the outward image of the company to its consumer base.
when you read it like that it doesnt sound so stupid does it?
so when you refer to companies talking to their consumer base in social networks, isnt that also what this digital marketing company are saying too? i would agree that the gap is not necessarily wider than it was before due to collusive silence for everyone, but I would agree that many large name brands used the internet to promote rather than communicate - hence the social media push by many agencies.
however, if as you say, they are indeed referring to use of more ‘photo’s to encourange an ‘emotional engagement’, then i would agree with everything you said
July 17, 2008 at 7:17 am
James Duthie
@ Kay - Yeah… I’m absolutely certain they are talking about photos. I’d drop the link but I don’t want to publicly identify the company (although if you Googled the quote…).
If in fact they were referring to using social media channels to:
(a) Mould their public image
(b) Speak to their customers
(c) Minimise the ‘collusive silence’
I’d be showering them with praise… because far too few companies actually do this. But alas… they’re talking about customising images within email… sigh.